How to end the universe part 2 - THE HARD WAY

August 29th, 2008 • 9 comments Books, College, Emoshitness, Fiction, High School, How to end the universe series, Humor, Narratives, Personal, Pointless
Tags: autistic, bananas, cat speak, College, courses, fucker, Mark Haddon, superhero, The Curious Incident of The Dog in The Night-time

“Life is cruel. Good thing bananas were invented.”

1. Get a banana.
2. Remove the banana peel.
3. Erect the banana.
4. Scream.

——

We took the NCAE last Wednesday and since I finished about three hours ahead of my roommates, I spent my spare time reading The Curious Incident of The Dog in The Night-time by Mark Haddon. You’ll surely find the book weird at first but as you absorb its pages, you’ll know why the book begins with chapter 2.

The book is the best first-person narration I’ve read so far not to mention that the story’s protagonist and at the same time, its narrator, Christopher, is autistic and is gifted at and focused on mathematics — this is reflected by his inclusion of several math and logic puzzles and problems. Well for me, it has been different to read a book based from a point of view of an autistic kid who takes the world literally.

——

I am tired of everything right now.
Going to college has been bothering me so badly. It’s as if I’m currently in front of the altar, about to get married as the crowd waits for my “I do”. It’s a very tough decision, as everybody says. There’s a long list of courses but where do I fit? Where am I actually going to find my safety zone or so they say? To tell you the truth, I also have a long list of things I wanna do. Frustration and perplexity caught me off guard.

Gawd! I have never been this fucking confused in my life. Ever. It’s like now or never. It’s like dying without reincarnation. Or learning the technique on the Rubik’s cube. Or having dyslexia and determining which is b and which is d between “b” and “d”. Or Einstein’s theory of relativity. But you see, the Rubik’s cube, the muddle between b and d, and relativity can be learned and mastered eventually. But choosing which path to take in college needs wisdom, because as I see it, life starts at college.

UPDATE:
I just thought of this one last night.
I have finally settled my self somehow. My dreams are to become:

• A superhero, and save millions of lives each day.
• A world class couch potato, or a mouse potato.
• Be a famous linguistic, majoring in cat speak. In that way, I can fulfill my dream of talking to cats. I know some words, ya knoes: MEOW! MEOW!. It’s cat speak for hello.
• Or at least, be a fucker.

Now tell me, what university offers those kinds of courses, huh?

*Grandma banana picture courtesy of this link. Thnks!

Taking A Bow As I Hover My Bedroom Floor

July 2nd, 2008 • 3 comments College, Emoshitness, High School, Pointless, Random, Thoughts
Tags: College, graduation, High School, suicide

Months from now, high school will finally close its chapter in my life. And on that time, I see myself zealously walking through the halls of some university while taking up the course I think that fits me. Decisions have to be made. Tangled wires of perplexity have to be undergone. And immature minds have to take a step further to maturity.

And thus, which brings me to this:

What if after graduating from college, right after the day of that very special event, I would suddenly have the feeling of completion, of cessation — and just end my life on that day, the day after my college graduation? What if suddenly, the years of schooling bring me to the conclusion which is death? Suicide. Yeah, I would end my life when it all ends. My mom will just see me hanging in my bedroom without any kind of suicide note and without any reasons at all. What if all of a sudden, I just feel like dying? Would everything be worth dying for?