How to end the universe part four - Suicide

November 9th, 2008 • 3 comments Acads, Angst, High School, How to end the universe series, Humor, XXX
Tags: suicide

SUICIDE — Some have even made a game out of it.

It’s just past 2PM and I’m feeling old and dying. It’s raining and it feels like it’s already 6PM. Anyway, I already got my report card yesterday for the second quarter, and my grades are quite satisfying methinks. And apart from everything that has been happening to me lately, let me digress this post to something even more mundane than my grades.

Suicide

Life got you down? Flunked all your subjects? Don’t know what a dog is? Plurk Karma went 0.13 lower? Got raped by a bunch of virgin n00bs? Why go on living with the gut-wrenching guilt when you can just kill yourself, also known as Suicide. With suicide, you can release all that guilt in your tender little heart and let your soul free.

Reasons to Commit Suicide

There are many reasons to commit suicide, including the several emoish reasons. But you need a specific reason why you want to end your life on this planet. If you’re gonna commit suicide just for the hell of it, it won’t count. You’re just being a jerk, I swear.

• You don’t know what “x” in 2x+3 means.
• Your girlfriend/mom/dad/bestfriend/dog left you.
• Your girlfriend/mom/dad/bestfriend/dog died.
• You have read this post and was convinced to commit suicide.
• You have been receiving apathies from your friends with text messages such as “Whatever”.
• You are emo and thus it is your duty to commit suicide.
• You are included in the Tarsius syrichta species, also known as Tarsier, and thus it is your duty to commit suicide whenever you’re stressed.
• You can’t shuffle a deck of cards.
• You don’t know the “F” in “WTF”.
• You stumbled upon this page.
• You’re such a loser.

How to Commit Suicide

There are several different ways on how you can commit suicide. But I’m just gonna share to you the three best methods of killing yourself.

Read more »

I only got a week to save the world

October 25th, 2008 • 2 comments Angst, High School, Humor, Personal, Random
Tags: cat, high school musical 3, laziness, parents, sembreak, sexual desire, upgrade, wordpress 2.6.3, wordpress automatic upgrade plugin

That’s one lazy bitch.

Okay, so I just upgraded this blog to WP 2.6.3. I hate Wordpress for updating every now and then. Gah. But thanks to Wordpress Automatic Upgrade Plugin, I got no worry whatsoever upgrading and I don’t hafta tweak into my blog’s files and all ’cause that freaks me.

Anyway, I don’t wanna turn this post into a paid post about some kickass plugin. For now, I wanna talk about the fresh minty breath of sembreak (I have no idea why it’s “minty”).

Sembreak is synonymous with laziness and as we all know, laziness is students’ favorite pastime. But in my case, teh folks have already told my sister and I that we are obliged to do house chores for the whole sembreak. And as a senior student, that just sucks big time. Being lazy is a tough job, ya knoes. Sometimes, you get butt cramps. And sometimes, when watching TV, your head is not in the right position and you can’t reach the remote, which is terrible.

But whatever the heck will happen to me in this sembreak should turn out awesome. That is, without the folks destroying my plans of pwning this vacation. And what are the plans?

• Watch High School Musical 3 with a group of friends on Tuesday. (teh folks have no idea of this so keep your big mouth shut. I just told them that we have to meet for the upcoming debate at school)
• Well, at least try to read some good books.
• Blow all my money off. (meh. It’s sembreak…what’re the odds?)
• Help my cat relieve all that sexual desire she’s feeling. (STFU. I know what you’re thinking…and it’s not that. What I mean with “relieve” is at least, comfort her)
• Eat a lot.
• Rest a lot.

So before the forces of the parents annihilate my evil plans, I shall, at least, think nice that my sembreak will turn out just fine. *winks*

*Lazy bitch picture courtesy of this link.

——

Thrown about into a world of amiss
Whilst in the saddle of a looped gushing of agitation
Sudden despair, I suppose
But nay…
I
just
pine
thou.

Can’t breathe. Can’t think. Can’t feel.

October 17th, 2008 • 5 comments Acads, Angst, High School, Personal
Tags: Acads, amoeba, biology, calculus, canteen, math, pcshs, Physics, relativity

MAJINBOO — In his fat hands…we are safe from the Amoeba Boys. NOT!

Next week means exams and I really hate talking about it. I hate how I work out with my acads right now though I always try diggin it to the very bottom — just like how I tried memorizing fifteen f*cking orders of phylum arthropoda for Biology 3, including their characteristics and examples. Screw Linnaeus for the Latin names. Screw mister God-Knows-Who for making us memorize the sh*t just for the sh*t of it. Anyway, just let me run my curses through the bullets.

• Since mathematics invaded Relativity, I cannot understand it anymore. Specially the crap about that sh*tty relativistic droppler effect and the derivations of the energy-mass equivalence formula which is E=mc2. “WTF?! How did E became K…and where did that square root sign came from?”
• I’m currently expecting what is to be expected with math. This week, we started taking up *drumroll* Calculus. Right now, it’s really kinda easy but I’m still not loving math for that.
• Research teacher just resigned and we’re having again that one hour break during Research class. Ohyeah. No more research proposal and paper for the year, I hope.
• The Amoeba Boys are attacking the school. Call the Power Puff Girls.
• Canteen prices are still high and I was surprised to know that Tapsilog and other -silog and are now P50. Holy Moly! The last time I bought that shi*t, it was only P45.
• Mr. Chips is P8. WTF?!
• Hamburger (w/ no ketchup, mayo, and even coleslaw…just a plain fried patty in a bun) is P20.
• F*ck it. Exams are up next week.

——

Help me forget everything.
Clear my mind about everything.
Prepare myself for everything.
Pull me away from everything.
Bring me to reality.
No more neutral notions.
Just.
Make.
Nothing.
Out.
Of.
Everything.