On the corner of darkness

November 5th, 2008 • 2 comments Emoshitness, Fiction, Narratives, Thoughts
Tags: dark, dragons, dreams, harry potter, room, wizard

The clicks of the keyboard fill in the dark room as I push the keys non-stop. The bright light of the monitor penetrated my inflamed eyes as I could feel nothing but the twitching of my eyebrows. I could feel insects creeping up the walls but I was too busy to mind them. I kept on typing words I don’t understand and sentences that I couldn’t seem to follow. Then, something in my head made me stop the flow of words in the monitor. Then there was silence in the dusk.

I heard footsteps slowly going to a direction I don’t know. Then the door creaked open as I immediately turned my head to see who was there. It was my mother, calling me to eat dinner. She was speaking out words I don’t know, perhaps, a different language. But why did my mind know what she meant? I gently pushed the chair backwards and stood up. I walked my way to the door with numb feet and aching knees. It was a weird feeling, to tell you the truth, as if I was an old man trying to walk unsupported in spite of arthritis.

As I reached for the door, my hand was shaking and my elbow was making a squeaky noise. I turned the knob but the door didn’t open. I tried again, but still, it won’t let me out. With all my strength, I let out another shot to open the door. And when it opened, a bunch of clothes exploded out on me. Damn! It was the closet.

I kept on crawling in the dark as I was looking for the door. My hands were feeling the floor and I was moving…moving…until my head hit the wall. I was hurt and just sat myself on the floor as I let the pain own me.

On the corner of darkness, I sat. Meters away from me, the computer was still open, the text I was writing was still there. I stood up and walked some inches in the side of the room but I suddenly tripped on something. It felt like a wire, but I don’t know…everything was dark. Then, a lightning cracked and hatched a loud thunder and a strong gush of downpour fell down. And on the other side of the room, the light beaming out from the monitor was suddenly gone. I immediately thought that the wire I tripped on was the extension wire to which the computer was plugged in. I couldn’t see the text that I typed anymore. And it was just then that I realized that I didn’t save my work. The text…the long text with huge paragraphs and random sentences was gone…my dreams were gone. My random dreams in life which I kept on typing the whole day were gone.

On the corner of darkness, I sat. Meters away from me, the computer was off, the text I was writing was no more there. I felt another hit in the head when I thought that instead of looking for the door, for the way out, I should have looked for the light switch first so that everything in the room was clear. I should have reached for the right door, I should have not accidentally unplugged the computer, and I should have saved my work, the text, my dreams.

On the corner of darkness, I stood up. I looked for the light and switched it on. I plugged the computer and typed again the lost text. I saved it and went for the door and went out of the room.

There were regrets, I know. But someday, I shall be a very good artist or a writer or a mathematician or a scientist, while saving millions of lives each day with dragons flying with me or with house elves serving me a hot cup of coffee each morning. And I know, Harry Potter shall be a very good wizard friend.

How to end the universe part 2 - THE HARD WAY

August 29th, 2008 • 9 comments Books, College, Emoshitness, Fiction, High School, How to end the universe series, Humor, Narratives, Personal, Pointless
Tags: autistic, bananas, cat speak, College, courses, fucker, Mark Haddon, superhero, The Curious Incident of The Dog in The Night-time

“Life is cruel. Good thing bananas were invented.”

1. Get a banana.
2. Remove the banana peel.
3. Erect the banana.
4. Scream.

——

We took the NCAE last Wednesday and since I finished about three hours ahead of my roommates, I spent my spare time reading The Curious Incident of The Dog in The Night-time by Mark Haddon. You’ll surely find the book weird at first but as you absorb its pages, you’ll know why the book begins with chapter 2.

The book is the best first-person narration I’ve read so far not to mention that the story’s protagonist and at the same time, its narrator, Christopher, is autistic and is gifted at and focused on mathematics — this is reflected by his inclusion of several math and logic puzzles and problems. Well for me, it has been different to read a book based from a point of view of an autistic kid who takes the world literally.

——

I am tired of everything right now.
Going to college has been bothering me so badly. It’s as if I’m currently in front of the altar, about to get married as the crowd waits for my “I do”. It’s a very tough decision, as everybody says. There’s a long list of courses but where do I fit? Where am I actually going to find my safety zone or so they say? To tell you the truth, I also have a long list of things I wanna do. Frustration and perplexity caught me off guard.

Gawd! I have never been this fucking confused in my life. Ever. It’s like now or never. It’s like dying without reincarnation. Or learning the technique on the Rubik’s cube. Or having dyslexia and determining which is b and which is d between “b” and “d”. Or Einstein’s theory of relativity. But you see, the Rubik’s cube, the muddle between b and d, and relativity can be learned and mastered eventually. But choosing which path to take in college needs wisdom, because as I see it, life starts at college.

UPDATE:
I just thought of this one last night.
I have finally settled my self somehow. My dreams are to become:

• A superhero, and save millions of lives each day.
• A world class couch potato, or a mouse potato.
• Be a famous linguistic, majoring in cat speak. In that way, I can fulfill my dream of talking to cats. I know some words, ya knoes: MEOW! MEOW!. It’s cat speak for hello.
• Or at least, be a fucker.

Now tell me, what university offers those kinds of courses, huh?

*Grandma banana picture courtesy of this link. Thnks!

Of Aching Legs And Freezing Arms, I Took The UPCAT

August 2nd, 2008 • 9 comments College, Emoshitness, High School, Personal, Thoughts
Tags: NCPAG, UP, UPCAT

Kamusta ang UPCAT? Mahirap ba?

My classmates kept on asking.

Madali lang, kayang-kaya mo ‘yon — was always my answer. I was in fact, lying. And to tell you the truth, UPCAT was the kind of exam I took up with crossed fingers, headaches, a bunch of good lucks and prayers from my family and friends. I took it up unprepared with only a week of review and leafing through a thick reviewer my aunt gave me. So judging from my one week preparation and the fact that the test items that appeared in the exam were sort of simple; I could put UPCAT in the middle, between Brain Drain and A Piece of Cake.

Speaking of brain drain, in spite of my judgement that the UPCAT is in the middle, I had a massive fucking global catastrophe of BRAIN DRAIN during my one week review. So destructive to the brain cells that I still have to review and remember some items while on my way to UP this morning to take the UPCAT.

And so, came the actual event. It was 6:30 AM of Saturday on the 2nd of August. I was sitting at the back row of some air conditioned room in NCPAG building in UP; freezing, since I was wearing no jacket. The rest of the five-hour exam went out swiftly off my mind as I stride my way out of the building. Right now, I don’t even know if I was sure or not on most of my answers. Only one thing is for sure in my memory — the Math subtest was hell.

Pano ka makakapasok ng UP nyan kung ganyan ang mga grades mo?!

I heard within my thoughts. It was my mom, scolding me, right after seeing my grades on the first quarter. It was more like a forethought of something I’m afraid to happen.

Now that I’m done with the UPCAT, now I need to take care of my grades and straighten myself towards my studies. And now that our 1st quarter periodical exam is coming closer, I need to study more.

And I shall.