How to end the universe

August 24th, 2008 • How to end the universe series, Humor, Pointless, Random, Thoughts

Michael Phelps' power level...it's over 9000!

“I swear…I meant to make him a human.”
-God on Michael Phelps

Meh.

——

Beating writer’s block is a difficult feat. It has long been considered impossible, like licking your elbow. However, some experts recently proved that licking your elbow is feasible, and so beating writer’s block can also be accomplished.

Well, writer’s block makes me wanna consider suicide. Gah!

——

How to become a superhero

The world today is dominated by villains and evil-doers like Math and Physics. The world needs you. Oh yes you…to become a superhero. Save us all!

You are a few steps closer to being a superhero. Here are the steps:

1. Have a very shitty childhood.
2. Have no social skills whatsoever.
3. Be a nerd.
4. Have a close friend or relative get killed, thus, giving you the reason and the will to fight crime, and provide yourself a feeling of duty.
5. Have a no sense of fashion at all.

Or, you might wanna consider these steps too:

1. Be born a mutant. If you’re already a mutant, you already got your abilities!
2. Or you wanna be mutant sometime in your life:

-Be exposed to a fatal amount of deadly radiation…and live.
-Be experimented by mad scientists.
-Have toxic/nuclear waste spilled on you.
-Be bitten/scratched by a radioactive animal.

And also, some miscellaneous ways to become a superhero:

1. Almost die, then build yourself a super cool suit or armor.
2. Be born on a different planet, then come to Earth, where you have superpowers.
3. Mix yourself with sugar, spice, and everything nice. And oh, don’t forget the chemical X.

But before you completely become a superhero, you have some things to think about before swoooshing and kablaaaamming…

1. Your superhero name.
-This is a big factor on your superhero lifestyle. Of course, every hero is known by his alias. Well, your name should reflect something about who you are.

2. Your superhero costume.
-As a superhero, you must have a costume that both stands out, and reflects your character.

3. What kind of superhero are you?
-You should also mull this over. This should reflect who you are, your character, your motives as a superhero, and whatever you’re fighting for.

All I can do now is say good luck to our future superheroes. The world depends on you, guys! Just always remember to think of the lives of others before your own, and never lose hope. You know, being a superhero can be a huge responsibility, painful and a burden; but at the same time, it’s also rewarding. Good luck!

PS: I almost forgot…never ever reveal your true identity.

Tags: how to become a superhero, michael phelps, super saiyan, superhero, writer's block

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